Can I Get a Bite?

Let’s face it, the economy sucks, and American waistlines are continuing to enlarge. As a result, my husband and I have vowed to share entrees when we go out to eat.

(As a side note, I’m convinced that servers at restaurants secretly hate us. After we order and say that we’re going to share our entree, they always look at us annoyed and sigh as they take the menus away. I’m thinking that they’re assuming the tip will be low, but it’s not. I always over tip when my husband and I split a meal.)

So anyway, I’m curious…Are there any other couples out there who routinely share their food? I ask because I’ve discovered a BIG problem with sharing food with my husband…For every 10 bites he takes, I only get one.

You see, when I take a bite, it’s small enough to fit into my mouth comfortably. I’m able to chew a couple of times, taste the food as it hits my tastebuds, swallow, take a breath and then reach for another bite.

Now when my husband takes a bite, it’s about three times the size of mine, sometimes so big that pieces of food wind up falling back onto his plate before it makes it to his mouth. I swear, my husband’s never chewed anything a day in his life. The food goes in his mouth, and he’s reaching for another forkful within tenths of a second. Let me put it this way, if you were to Google “inhaling your food,” a picture of my husband would be number one in the search results!

Clearly, this is a problem–Especially when we’re sharing something in particular that I love eating, such as french fries, sushi, chips and salsa, cookies (yum, cookies)…OK, yeah it’s a problem because I love ALL food.

Aside from jamming my fork into the top of his hand when he reaches for the last bite, what’s a married girl got to do in order to get a little bit of food?!?!

About Nikki Flores

CluelessMe.com is written by Nikki Flores, a clueless girl who lives in Littleton, Colorado and blogs about how clueless she really is when it comes to life's crazy adventures. She writes in an honest, open, and sometimes witty voice. In other words, she keeps it real, raw, and completely relatable.
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