CluelessMe – Unleashed

My husband and I currently reside in the lower level of a duplex with our Welsh Corgi dogs, Rascal and Bandit. Sadly, we don’t have a fenced in yard, which means my husband and I end up “taking turns”…bringing the dogs out to the backyard to do their business.

Through trial and error, we found out that the easiest way to accomplish this task is by hooking up a retractable leash to each dog. Now, in order to keep track of the leashes, my husband and I utilize a unique wall apparatus. Perhaps you have heard of it? It’s called a ‘hook.’ Anywho…The point is, we hang the leashes on a hook on the inside of our front hall closet to prevent us from leaving it somewhere else by mistake. Now obviously, this concept of not losing the leashes only works if both my husband and I continue to put the leashes back on that hook.

Well, the hook concept failed miserably last week. It was time to take the dogs out, and when I reached into the closet looking for the leashes, I only came up with one.

Annoyed that my husband had not followed the proper leash replacement protocol, I screamed, “Hon! Where’s the other leash?!”

“I dunno,” my husband retorted. “Did you look on the hook?”

Getting even more irritated that he had the chutzpah to ask me this question, I responded, “Um, yeah. It’s not there. You must not have put it back on the hook the last time you took the dogs out.” (Before you ask…Yes, I know that he was the one who didn’t put the leash back on the hook because he’s been the guilty party in the past whenever things go missing in our household.)

Though my husband claimed that he looked for the leash, it had not been found later that day when it was time to take the dogs out again. Nor was it discovered by the next day. In fact…Three whole days went by before the missing leash turned up again…

My husband calmly walked into the dining room, holding up the missing leash. “Found it.” He said.

“Oh? You remembered where you left it, huh?” I responded.

“It was on the hook by the side door.” My husband explained.

“You mean the hook we we walk past every single day, multiple times a day?” I squealed.

He nodded.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I said. “We walk past that hook at least 15 times a day, and not once in the past three days did either one of us notice a bright red retractable leash?!” (As you can tell, I suspected that my husband was lying to me to save his own ass. It was apparent to me that he must have left it somewhere else, but didn’t want to admit it.)

Later that night, I had a flashback to three days before…It was my “turn” to take out the dogs, and it was raining. Disgruntled that it was my turn to take the dogs out, I attached one retractable leash to one dog at a time and let them out the side door so they could do their business without me having to step outside.

Now, just between you and me…I remembered that the second dog had just finished doing his business right as my favorite show was starting. In a hurry to make it to the TV room in time to see the first few seconds of my show, I quickly placed the leash on the hook next to our side door and ran to the TV.

Shhhhhhh! Don’t tell!

About Nikki Flores is written by Nikki Flores, a clueless girl who lives in Littleton, Colorado and blogs about how clueless she really is when it comes to life's crazy adventures. She writes in an honest, open, and sometimes witty voice. In other words, she keeps it real, raw, and completely relatable.
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