Just Call Me The Queen of Pinterest (Fails)

I remember the first time I discovered Pinterest.

I started small – pinning recipes, crafts/games to keep my kids entertained, romantic ways to connect with the hubby, and trendy outfits I planned to wear. From there, I started pinning a ton of organization tips to help me keep my house clean, quick workouts promising to make me skinny, and easy hair styles for modern women-on-the-go. Pinning perfect possibilities were limitless.

Thanks to Pinterest, I could finally be the best-dressed, perfectly accessorized, fit-and-trim woman, who could cook delicious meals and romanticize my man – all while keeping my house miraculously clean, and spending quality time doing educational crafts with my toddlers. Hell Yes!

After assembling those first few boards, I dove right in. I started making those delicious dinners; doing those romantic things for my husband, and tried out those simple hairstyles. I even dusted off my workout clothes, cleaned out my closet, and then I spent a small fortune at JoAnn Fabrics gathering the crafting essentials.

So, how’d it all go?

Within days, I had mastered the culinary arts and whittled my waistline. I was always dressed to the nines and had the bounciest, shiniest hair ever. And my kids preferred to spend time doing crafts with me instead of watching cartoons. My husband adored me, and my house was spotless All. The. Time. Yes, Pinterest had literally changed my life.

OK so that last bit is what I thought would happen. But much like everything else in my life that I plan out, things didn’t necessarily work out the way I wanted them to

Turns out you actually need an in disposable amount of time, energy, dexterity, and patience to become the perfect woman. Who would have thought?

So, what really happened as I dove into this “pinteresting” adventure of mine was a long list of personal “Pinterest Fails”.

Exercise + Me = Generally Hating Life

I realized that most of the fast and easy workouts that promised to shrink my mid-section in a few days were the exact opposite – they were long, and difficult. I toppled to the ground a couple of times (ok…a lot of times) trying to do yoga headstands. I kick-boxed my way to a hamstring injury. I defied the laws of gravity trying to do burpees. Yeah, that first 10-minute workout was a bitch.

R.I.P. I Workout! board.

Crafty, I Am Not

Oh! And all those cute, totally educational crafts that were easy for little hands to make were next to impossible to re-create. I mean, even I got frustrated trying to make a dinosaur out of a paper plate! How on earth could I expect my easily-distracted children to do it? Both of the creations my kids and I made looked nothing like the image of the pin. Sayonara Kids Stuff board. Cartoons it is!

Hair Gone Wild

And don’t even get me started on my collection of simple hairstyle pins. I wound up with burns from my curling iron, damaged hair, and an array of products, brushes, and tools that I only ever used once. Dear Hair! board, you’re a tangled mess.

50 Shades of No Color at All

I don’t want to share TMI here, so I’ll keep this section brief. Long story short, every single thing I planned or tried out didn’t work. The yoga moves I added to my workout board did NOT make me more flexible. Furthermore, since the whole workout just didn’t work in general, the sassy outfits only meant for the bedroom (and sometimes Halloween) didn’t quite fit the way I intended them to. Let’s face it, the subhead says it all. (That was a private board, by the way, so I can’t share it with you on my blog, but I assure you, it has been deleted.)

Table for One, Please

I had pinned so many yummy things, and I couldn’t wait to try them all out on my hubby and kids. I’m talking real-life, actual home-cooked meals here, folks. For once, I was not going to just take something out of the freezer and put it in the microwave. More importantly, I couldn’t wait to crush the competition at the school bake sale with my homemade gluten-, peanut-, milk-, and egg-free brownies. (Because you can’t ignore all those allergies.) Much of those dinners turned out burnt and landed in the bottom of the trash can. And as for the bake sale? Let’s just say, I’m only allowed to bring store-bought items now. Yummy Vegan-ish Recipe board, you disgust me.

What Not to Wear

I took an hour to go through all my clothes, sorting them into “potentially could be acceptable-to-wear” and “completely unacceptable” piles. At the end of my sorting exercise, one of those piles was bigger than the other one. (I bet you can’t guess which one though.) Then, I remembered that I didn’t have any spending money, so I just hung everything right back up again. Thanks for nothing, Funky Fashion Finds board.

(Not) So Fresh and (Not) So Clean

Guys, I’m gonna be honest here. I tried every. single. one. of those organizational tips, and ya know what? My house is actually messier and more disorganized now than it was before. I just have my junk scattered throughout a heck of a lot more color-coded bins now. Organized 4 Life board, I’m just gonna sweep you under the rug with the rest of my dust and crumbs.

Here’s the thing. I know that I’m not alone. There are other moms out there who had so many hopes and dreams for Pinterest, only to watch all them come tumbling down.  I’m pretty damn sure that if you talk to any mom who has ever tried to do something based off of a Pinterest pin, they’d rattle off way more “Pinterest Fails” than wins.

I’m sure some moms may have figured out ways to use Pinterest for good, but based on first-hand experience and frequent “interviews” with other pinners, there are many more who have fallen to the dark side. I think it’s safe to say that most moms hate Pinterest with the fire of a thousand suns.

I’m over it.

About Nikki Flores

CluelessMe.com is written by Nikki Flores, a clueless girl who lives in Littleton, Colorado and blogs about how clueless she really is when it comes to life's crazy adventures. She writes in an honest, open, and sometimes witty voice. In other words, she keeps it real, raw, and completely relatable.
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