How does that profound adage go? First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes so-and-so pushing the baby carriage? Well, this Clueless Newlywed is definitely not pushing any baby carriages yet, but I did dream that I was pregnant three times this week. And last week, I dreamt about it too. Do you think my subconscious level is trying to tell me something? I suppose it could be my “biological clock ticking,” but it could also be the fact that my husband and I have recently been introduced (second-hand) to the world of parenting via our close friends.
It seems like every other week, my husband and I are the lucky recipients of a baby shower invite or a come-and-meet-the-new-baby get-together. Our Facebook profiles are over inundated with new baby pictures, we’re following people on Twitter who literally tweeted the whole pregnancy and birthing experience, and every time the phone rings, I can’t help but think, Now who’s expecting?! Suddenly, everyone that we know is no longer clueless newlyweds like us, they’ve made it to the next stage of married bliss…Baby-making!
We gave up a lot of our newlywed “freedom” when we decided to get a dog (Rascal), and then our family grew a little more when we added another 4-legged friend (Bandit) six months later. It took us about another year before we got the feeling that it was time to expand again, taking in our Beta fish, Fluffy. (Unfortunately, we lost our first fish, Spike the Goldfish, in a terrible tragic dirty bowl accident prior to Fluffy, but I don’t want to talk about it.) Aside from Bob (our basil plant that we’ve been struggling to keep alive for weeks), the next logical life form that should come into our house is a baby. Still…We have our reservations.
It’s odd, but it’s been almost a year (to the date) that I did my first post about babies. I was pretty adamant then that I was NOT ready. Granted a month later, I had a change of heart when I found out that two of my close friends were expecting.
Which brings me back to the present…Babyless and wondering if it’s time to “start trying.” Trust me, my husband and I are not taking this decision lightly. So far, we’ve checked out practically every book there is about pre-pregnancy preparations (nutrition, exercise, natural family planning methods, etc.) in addition to parenting books (so we can learn proper parenting techniques and guestimate how much a little bundle of joy will cost us in the long run), and of course we’ve been learning through observation too (Like I said, we know a lot of people right now who already have kids, so we’re paying attention to EVERYTHING!). Finally, I’ve been given so many random pieces of advice (like to rub Vaseline on your pregnant stomach to avoid stretchmarks or to do Yoga to help ease the birthing process). And yet…Even with all these preparations, we still don’t feel ready.
So I’m asking…When do you know that it’s the “right time” to have a baby?