Sleepless in Cleveland

Remember how excited my hubby and I were when the neighbors who lived above us finally moved out?

After they left, we were convinced that whoever our landlord found to replace them couldn’t possibly be worse! And I suppose our new neighbors aren’t that bad…Unless you are one of those types of people who view sleep a necessary part of life…

No, if catching some Zzz’s between the hours of 11pm and 7am is not a big deal, then I doubt if you would care if there was a 2-year-old living above you who enjoyed running around the house banging on things at 3am.

If you are a true night owl, it probably wouldn’t bother you when that same 2-year-old starts screaming and crying at 4am. To be honest, you were probably planning on getting up in another hour or three later anyway, right?

And if you enjoy cheesy infomercials, then you will actually look forward to hearing the television in the room above you…all…night…long. Because hey, I’m sure that you’ll want to hear every last detail about the ShamWow and how it holds 12x its weight in water.

Oh, and don’t worry…If you are one of those types of people who enjoys a good night sleep, there’s still hope. Just follow this simple process, and you’ll be nodding off in no time:

1. Purchase earplugs.
I’m not talking about those cheap 99-cent ones either…I’m talking about the top of the line brands like Macks Ultra SafeSound Earplugs for $8.

2. Invest in a good nature sounds radio.
Then crank that bad boy up as loud as it will go before retiring for the night.

3.  Position your head so that it’s as close as humanly possible to a large fan turned on high. (WARNING: Shivering all night is a very probable side effect of this tactic.)

4. Map out your alternate sleeping plans for the night.
Start out in the master bedroom, and when the 2-year-old throws his 3am temper tantrum in the room above you an hour later, migrate into the guest bedroom.  Then at 4am, when an infomercial for Snuggies (The Blanket with Sleeves) wakes you up, you’ll be able to grab your pillow and head for the couch. Keep your options open…Don’t overlook sleeping in the car either. The more options, the better.

5. Separate and conquer.
As in, you sleep in one room, and your spouse sleeps in another. Chances are that if you split up at nighttime, at least one of you will be able to get one solid hour of sleep a night. (WARNING: This tactic could put a damper on your sex life.)

Oh, and just in case you’re wondering…My husband and I happen to be the type of people who value sleep.

About Nikki Flores is written by Nikki Flores, a clueless girl who lives in Littleton, Colorado and blogs about how clueless she really is when it comes to life's crazy adventures. She writes in an honest, open, and sometimes witty voice. In other words, she keeps it real, raw, and completely relatable.
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